why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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