Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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