i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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