Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
