im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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