They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
