I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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