My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
