I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
