so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
