it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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