it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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