Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
