You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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