Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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