i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
