NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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