Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
