I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
