You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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