i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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