Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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