I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
