WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
