I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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