It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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