life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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