She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
