So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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