youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
