She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
