He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
