I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
God I need to hump something, right now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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