As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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