Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize