Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
