I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
