Do you still have your period?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
