You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
