I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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