Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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