And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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