He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry about my life...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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