mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
