end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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