oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
