I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize