I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
