Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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