Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
