This dress was meant to end up on your floor
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
