Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
