batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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