Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
