that's an acceptable place to lick
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
