oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
