my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
of course. lets lasso hookers.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
