I think scott just propositioned me for sex
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
