Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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