The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
