then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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