i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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