ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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