i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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