can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
