Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize