But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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