I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
