Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
