Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
