JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
