Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
